Warped
by gendrogen
Summary: "When you fall, you keep falling."


"Speech"

'Thoughts'

_Jutsu_

I only own my o.c

* * *

"Ow."

With a 'thump,' a foreign girl fell from the sky. Well . . . she looked as if she fell from the sky, it was as if one moment she wasn't there and the next she was. She had merely 'appeared out of thin air.' However, her location was a mystery.

'Am I in a forest? I can't be because there's gates in front of me. Wait . . . did it work . . . am I in-

It was almost as if the 'truth,' covered in mystery, blossomed from the girl's brain. Instantaneously she knew where she was.

'How could I have not realized; the trees and the gates match their original colors, even the road is the right hue.'

The girl was correct; the temperament around the village was a dense forest. Each tree swayed with the wind while the clouds above remained stationary. The flowers on the forest floor screamed 'spring-time' with their loud colors. Even the dirt road felt familiar in the girls mind.

'Are they . . . -'

A scream, not blood curdling but nonetheless annoying, pierced the air as the girl set her sights on the two guards. The faces of both guards remained solid; for who was this foreign girl and how had she appeared?

"Kotetsu . . . Izumo," the girl screamed.

The gaze both guards held dropped immediately and was replaced by one of shock. Both dropped into a defensive stance as the girl rushed towards them.

"Ready when you are," one said.

"Right," the other replied.

* * *

As the girl inched closer, the guard known as 'Izumo' started a set of hand seals. The other, named Kotetsu, began to summon an item.

"Suiton: Mizuame Nabara."

Syrup erupted from Izumo's mouth and bound the girl. Her momentum stopped as she tried to fight through the sticky substance. Meanwhile Kotetsu held a conch overhead and aimed his mace at the girls head and prepared to strike.

"State your businesses," Kotetsu said.

"Aaaaaah! I can't believe. . . . I'm here, I'm really here!" the girl screamed. "It worked it really worked, I'm in fucking Konoha! Aaaaah!"

Kotetsu held his poise; did this girl now know her existence in the world could be removed from one swipe of his mace.

'What's she saying, is she screaming uncertainties? What if she's planning some jutsu,' Izumo thought.

"Kotetsu fall back," Izumo said.

Both jumped back to their post and observed the girl stuck in the syrup.

'Wha-why are they leaving? Oh, right I'm in Japan so they can't understand me,' she thought. 'Thank god I took three years of Japanese, I'm practically fluent.'

"Hey you two boards, help me out of this sponge cake." She shouted.

The girl grinned and caressed her hair.

'They're bound to help me once they know I'm no threat, I might also befriend them,' she thought.

"You two are my cucumber characters," she yelled.

'Yeah right, my favorite character's definitely Sai,' she thought.

Izumo walked to the girl and released his jutsu while Kotetsu resealed his weapon.

'She's definitely crazy,' Izumo thought.

In one movement, Izumo bound the girl's hands with rope and led her to Kotetsu.

"I totally ship you and Kotetsu; hey why are my hands bound with cupcakes? Oh my god you and Kotetsu are like always in my yaoi dreams . . . please kiss him for me," the girl rambled on.

Izumo merely glared at the girl and she immediately went quiet.

"State your name and your business," Kotetsu growled.

"I'm Amethyst and I'm here because I'm so jjang. I also want to meet cucumber because he's so cute," Amethyst screamed.

"Amethyst, you are not a resident of Konoha nor do you have a license to visit our land thus you are labeled as a spy. You may opt. to protest in front of the Hokage however you are subjected to a mental screening by the torture and intelligence department," Izumo said.

"I'm no spy, I've read everywhere on fanfiction that I can just walk into this village. I love the land of the waves too much to be a spy," Amethyst cried.

"So you're a spy from waves?" Kotetsu spat.

"No, no, no, no . . . take me to granny. Take me to lady granny," Amethyst wailed.

* * *

Both guards obliged to the 'crazy' girls request. Izumo reared behind her while Kotetsu held the rope that bound the girl and led in front. Amethyst walked down the crowded streets of Konoha with 'stars' in her eyes. For she was 'here,' the place that she dreamed of and wrote boundless stories was finally tangible to her. Amethyst smiled to the crowds of people that gleamed at her, she tried to wave but instead resorted to cocking her head back and forth. The crowds looked not to great the girl but they looked to condemn her. She was an outsider, a spy, this girl placed fear in every heart do to her mysterious appearance. For that fact alone they wanted her to be tried as a spy in court; meaning they wanted her blood.

'Konoha is so pretty, everyone's so inviting towards me. It's probably because I look so quiche. They're practically staring at me; I could definitely live here,' Amethyst thought.

The group of three arrived at the Hokage's office, however this arrival was slow due to Amethyst overwhelming desire and gleam to observe every 'nook and cranny' of Konoha. She nearly toppled over Kotetsu when she saw her second favorite character Neji. Neji blatantly ignored the girl, even though she screamed his name, kicked dust at him, and stated that she wanted to birth his children, however he looked away.

Amethyst's encounter with Neji did nothing to her psych. Sure she thought that he'd be less of an ass and not bent on destiny however she couldn't fathom the thought of him berating her. Amethyst was under the false impression that every character in 'Naruto' wasn't going to act out of character, she thought of every character as being portrayed stereotypically.

'No one's going to kill me, I'm in Konoha – they fucking love everyone,' she thought. 'If Tsunade's the kage she'd react best if I brought up something about alcohol because she is a drunkard.'

* * *

"Tsunade-sama," Izumo knocked.

Neither chunin waited for an answer and instead barged in; though in normal circumstances, this rash behavior would never be tolerated, the current dilemma was turning more into a crisis. The 'Amethyst' girl had screamed out the names of every shinobi she had seen on the walk to the mansion; this girl could have secrets that if sent into the wrong hands, could hinder Konoha.

"Who the hell are you," Tsunade roared.

The girls' reaction wasn't one that Tsunade would expect from a foreigner. Pitchy squeals; Amethyst's eye's bulged as they rapidly scanned what, better yet – who was in the Hokage's office.

'Mother of all fucks it's TEAM SEVEN,' she thought.

She strained and buckled at the ropes, everyone mistook this as a sign that she was about to attack. However, quite the inverse occurred. Amethyst took a deep breath and let loose . . .

"Holy fuckin' shit it's team seven. Kakashi, Naruto, bitchy Sakura, it's all three of you, minus Sasuke!" she screamed.

'How does she know about Sasuke,' Kakashi thought.

Sakura's face contorted due to her anger, why had this girl called her out, nonetheless called her a bitch.

As if she were reading from a list Amethyst rambled about each 'canon' character. "Kakashi, I love your hair, but you're a douche teabag. I mean you freakin' ignored your team for like the first season of cucumber. You really need to let go of your past, I mean really Obito and Rin are dead . . . well Obito's still a carrot under the name Tobi."

'How does she know?' Kakashi thought.

On queue she moved onto Naruto. "Cucumber, I love you so much. It would be soooo jjang if you got with Hinata instead of that bitch Sakura. OMG you look so much like your father the Fourth Hokage and your mother Kushina. Ugh that stupid nine tailed fox, you know what, fuck Konoha for abusing you, you're a hero."

"I . . . I . . . I'm related to the Fourth," Naruto stuttered. However his voice was masked by the shit storm that Amethyst was saying about Sakura.

"You . . . you pink haired bimbo. Words can't describe how much I HATE you. Ugh, you should've died in the waves arc, like I wish Haku would've aimed a senbon at you. You are literally sooo useless. Ino should've won in the chunin exams. Stop hitting Naruto you sadistic fuck! If this is pre-shippuden, I hope Sasori kills you!"

"I . . . killed Sasori," Sakura growled.

"Whatever, you're still useless, I mean you're a genjutsu type but you've never used a single genjutsu, YOU ARE TRASH!"

'Oh kami, Sakura-kun's going to kill this girl,' Naruto thought.

All the while Tsunade was between fits of shock and giggles.

"Don't even get me started on you Tsunade, you old drunkard. You're worse than trash for abandoning Konoha when it needed you the most. Guess what 'hun, Dan's never coming back. I swear you and Kakashi are stuck in like a limbo of mourning. I should just pour blood on you so you can freeze up."

'She must be a spy, there's only one settlement,' Tsunade thought.

* * *

Amethyst had no idea why she was in court. In her defense she had done no wrong – beside reveal the entire plot of Naruto and share S class secret that few had known. However she was wrong. It was highly suspicious for a stray civilian, shinobi, or whatever the girl was to have that much information, nonetheless have that information all be accurate. It was also painstaking.

Tsunade had the option of explaining the information to Naruto and Sakura however she chose a more . . . devious route by using a forbidden technique worse than _edo tensei_. Though the technique was unnamed it was one that allowed for memory loss, however if used incorrectly it left the affected with memory lapse and Alzheimer's.

The remaining question was what to do with the girl. She had boundless amounts of information; however she wasn't an ally of Konoha, nor was she an ally of any known shinobi village. She claimed multiple times that she was from an area called 'earth' yet said she fell from the sky.

When the girl was questioned by T & I they appeared as dumbfound as Tsunade; exactly where and how had she obtained this information? Tsunade made her decision even though the girl had more 'reward than risk value.'

"I so ship you and Inoichi," Amethyst said to Ibiki. The grim appearance of her torture cell appeared to have no effect on her rampaging speech. "You two would be so jja-".

That was it, one swipe. Her head tumbled over and stuck to the read pouring out her neck. Ibiki found it funny how in a world of flashy ninja techniques, all it took was one little swipe to end a life.

* * *

Morale of the story, if you go to the Naruto-verse and reveal almost every known secret, you'll die.

~ Random words such as cucumber and cupcakes were used to showcase that Amethyst's Japanese skills weren't good!


End file.
